BigBlueBugBlog: Our Second Family

Part of the VFV program is the "homestay". There are about 15 families within BLISS that have opened up their home to hosting the visiting volunteers. In return they get a stipend per month to provide us with 2 meals a day and a bed with a fan.

We really lucked out with the Gapate family. The room we have and the house itself is more simple than what we have been used to in the West, but very comfortable. But the real gem is the head of the family, Nanay Sole. Women who are older and have children command the "Nanay" title here, and her name is Soledad, but people call her Sole for short.

Nanay is 58 years old, and has had a pretty hard working life. She has bore 11 children, the majority of them in her house with only her husband as a midwife. 8 of them survived infancy.

She started her married life at 18, following her husband around to his different jobs - carpentry, farming. At this point in their life, they were poor tenants, and some of her children could not go to school at times.

She heard about the BLISS housing project, set up by the Marcos government to provide cheap land for people (like the projects in America). She decided to stop shifting around with her husband, and built a "nipa hut" on the land. Nipa huts are the cheaper, native form of Filipino housing whose roof thatch is made from the nipa palm tree, and whose sides are woven bamboo or sawed lumber.

About 20 years ago her husband became sick and could not work as much as he did before. She would get up very early, prepare her family food, and go work as a laundrywoman in other people's houses for many hours of the day. At night she would come back, prepare the family dinner and go to sleep. Cooking food here takes a long time, because at that time she only had a fire to cook over, and everything is raw and needs to be processed.

Then a step up in lifestyle came in the form of her daughter Nelia working overseas in Japan for 6 years. This is a very common practice in the Philippines. Many families have had at least one family member go abroad to anywhere from Japan, America to Saudi Arabia. There are agencies that connect Filipinos to foreign companies who need cheap labor. These companies process the paperwork that allows the Filipinos to go abroad for work. American hospitals are huge employers of Filipino nurses for example. Nelia worked in a Japanese noodle factory.

After 6 years, Nelia returned and replaced the nipa hut with a concrete tiled house on Nanay's plot. Concrete walls and tile flooring are both the signs of a richer house in the Philippines. Nelia subsequently got married and moved to Luzon, leaving Nanay with the house. In accordance with many cultures' practice of children providing for their parents when they get old, Nelia has told Nanay to retire, and sends her money from the business she runs in Luzon.

Nanay is still by no means a rich woman, and cannot afford many luxuries. She is completely dependent on Nelia's generosity to send her money for things like her remaining son's schooling. Last year, one of her sons was stuck in a typhoon with wounds in his leg from a rebar. She had no money to travel to where he was and try and get him. The little money she earns from the homestay helps supplement what she has.

She is one of the nicest women we know here, and is always so excited to see us. She makes sure we get the best of everything, yelling at her sons if they try to take it first. She always makes sure to sit with us and tells us all the neighborhood "chisme" (gossip). What makes it cute is that she giggles and covers her face when she says it. "Chisme!" hee hee hee. She calls us her daughter and son. Oh, and I love her food! "Marasa" as they say here.

In this picture, Nanay is teaching us how to cook Christian's favorite: Lumpia (fried springrolls)

Christian looks like he swallowed a marble or that he is really excited to eat lumpia!

Nanay's husband's real name is Ambrosio, or Busio for short, but the respectful thing to call him is Tatay. He is 65, but he looks a lot older due to the arthritis he has had for 20 years. Because he cannot move much, or see too well, he stays in the house, and takes many naps.

When there is a guitar around, Tatay will pick on it for hours. He plays old-time Filipino music, which sounds like lullaby Spanish classical songs. He is entirely self taught which is amazing to me! He used to be in a band when he was younger.

Tatay is shown here with his favorite cup. It is even more his favorite when there is "tuba" inside. Tuba is Leyte province's native coconut wine. Tatay loves his tuba so much that if Nanay or Nelia gives him money for something, he might sneak off and buy tuba instead.

This is Jener, Nanay's oldest son, 21 years old. With an easy going personality, Jener is a neighborhood favorite.

When the center opened its doors a few years ago, one of the staff members noticed Jener would go in when no one was looking and try to read the books in the library. If anyone noticed he was there, he would run out. It turns out he had problems with reading and school and never finished. He was too embarassed that he had problems reading and that is why he never told anyone and tried to hide it. The staff member set him up with a weekly tutor, and slowly he is working his way towards an equivalency exam that will allow him to take night classes.

On the left is Jaylito, Nanay's other son, 16. If you can't tell by his finger poses, he is a "Rocker". Last year he was a "Dancer" along with some of the other teenage boys, but he decided this year that this was uncool. Now he practices his guitar and loves punky pop rock songs.

I have been serving as drummer for the "boys club band", made up of some neighborhood teenagers who are in VFV's Boys Club. This includes Jaylito on rhythm guitar. The boys get provided with a practice space, instruments, and a teacher one time a week. He loves the electric and practices rock star poses in front of the mirror.

Kenneth! This is Nanay's grandchild, 7 years old. Her daughter, Kenneth's mother Lin Lin, has basically abandoned him at Nanay's house while she and her new husband live in Manila. Nanay is upset because Lin Lin never sends money for Kenneth, but buys things like cell phones for herself.

Kenneth is certainly a wild child. He told Nanay he doesn't like his mother and wants Nanay to be his mom, but still gets angry and petulant a lot and gives her a hard time.

But when Kenneth smiles, as you can see in this picture, it is completely the opposite. People call him "simud" which means "big mouth", and he uses it all with his big toothless smile. It is so great to see him happy, and Christian and I play with him when we can. He is also learning to read at school, so I try to get him to read with me. He likes reading, LOUDLY. "MO-THER WENT TO THE STORE."

This is more typical of Kenneth - getting himself into trouble. Shown here trying to pull down the volleyball net.

Kenneth on his 7th birthday, June 21.

Nanay said she did not have enough money for a birthday party for Kenneth, so Christian and I got him a cake and a basketball. Kenneth was so excited to see the cake, he blew out the candle before the birthday song was finished. This hands up pose with the basketball is typical Kenneth.

Jayvia, Nanay's grandaughter, also 7, does not live with us. We got to know her because her family (Nanay's daughter Eva is her mom) did not have electricity for a while. Eva has a baby boy, so they would come over to cool him off in front of the fan. Now they have electricity and we never see them!

This is her cute typical toothless gum grin.

What a cute little girl

Our neighbors are a young family still building their house, slowly. They also do not have electricity, so their children Ariana, 4 and Aldridge, 8, will pop in and out the back door as they please and plop themselves in front of the TV to watch cartoons. Ariana always calls our name when we walk by.

The Gapates oot and aboot